A List a Day

Where the Hell Is "Mannequin," Part 2?
When Reader's Digest comes up with a list of the 100 Funniest Films of all time and you can bet the results are hilarious. They're even asking you, gentle reader, to vote for the most side-splitting, though how you can choose between "Soapdish" and "Men in Black" is beyond me. >

Speaking of a "Penthouse" View
If your idea of entertainment includes Paris Hilton fisting a cow, you'll enjoy Fox's reality twist on "Green Acres," reports NY Daily News TV critic David Bianculli (yes, the "Fresh Air" guy). "The Simple Life" is just one of Bianculli's 10 reasons to care about TV this fall. As for me, I've got episodes of "Ed" and "West Wing" from last March on my Tivo--not to mention the last three episodes of "Project Greenlight"--so I've got some work to do before the fall.

Meanwhile, some Brits have picked the 40 best TV shows of all time. A quick perusal of the list, which is heavily weighted toward Anglo shows, reveals a handful of American shows, including "Seinfeld," "ER," "Frasier," "Hill Street Blues," "The Simpsons," "M*A*S*H," and "Larry Sanders."
Links via TV Tattle.

And you "American Idol" fans won't be able to hear any more butchered versions of "I Will Always Love You," "Candle in the Wind," or "Enter Sandman."
Link via Rocktober.
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Where the Hell Is "Mannequin"?
The Wave takes a look at the '80s 10 Most Rad Movies, and though the mag overlooks the Andrew McCarthy does it with an inanimate object opus, another movie involving McCarthy and a stiff, "Weekend at Bernie’s," checks in at No. 1.

My favorite line of the story comes from the description of "Moonwalker, "Michael Jackson's ego-stroke. "Moonwalker is a mix of music videos like..."Man in the Mirror," which demands you to cure world hunger. This comes off as a little hypocritical, since if you added up all the hush money that Michael’s paid to the parents of allegedly fondled children, he could have replaced Ethiopia with a 1,200-mile wide bowl of pudding." Mmmm 1,200-mile wide bowl of pudding.

Some others I think might fit well on the list include: "DC Cab," "Rhinestone," "K-9," "Teen Wolf," and "D.A.R.Y.L." What do you think? [All these >Comments (0) are embarrassing!]
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From the Home Office...
David Letterman has been on CBS for a decade and the commemorate the occasion, Newsday has collected Dave's Top 10 Moments in the Last 10 Years.
Link via TV Tattle.>

I'm Back
And though I may take a vacation, the lists never do...

One of the oddest phenoms of the '90s was the rise to semi-stardom of mentally ill, homeless Chicago street performer Wesley Willis. Well, Willis passed away last week at the age of 40 from complications of leukemia. Chart Attack has a list of 10 Reasons Why Wesley Willis Was Cool…Like A Monkey’s Butthole.

Meanwhile ESPN's Page 2 has a list of reasons why there is an East-Coast bias in sports and conversely a list of why there is not one.

And in the dog-bites-man category, Rolling Stone has an imaginative list of rock's 100 greatest guitarists. Even with RS's big push to attract readers under 55, the mag's top 10 is dominated by dinosaurs and dead people, with Jimi Hendrix getting the top spot, followed by Duane Allman, B.B. King, Eric Clapton, Robert Johnson, Chuck Berry, Stevie Ray Vaughan, Ry Cooder, Jimmy Page, and Keith Richards.
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Posted by: AlexG / 12:27 PM

Short Week
We once held a job in the great Northwoods for a spell and are returning to the land of Bunyan, Dylan, and the Edmund Fitzgerald this weekend (we'd tell you why, but are way too afraid of the ensuing mockery), so we apologize to you dozen or so regulars who actually come for the food and stay for the pie.

As a parting gift, here's one of those oh-so original columns
(WARNING: It's the L.A. Times, so if you are not registered you will be required to submit everything short of a DNA sample before you can have the privilege of accessing their vast library of pop-up ads) in which the writer shows his contempt for list-making by (all together now) making lists.

Have a great weekend, and to our friends in the U.K., a jolly Summer Bank Holiday.
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Move Over SI
With the injury to Michael Vick, it appears as if appearing on the cover of John Madden's famed video game is more of a curse than a blessing.

And in other news from the world of sport, ESPN's Page 2 has a list of bad sports relatives. >

Everyone's a Captain Kirk...
As if getting an RIAA subponea doesn't already suck, imagine if you were one of the two poor souls who recieved one after downloading Nena's Cold War anthem "99 Luft Baloons.">

Shamless Item Designed to Lure People to the Site from Search Engines
USA Today in a naked appeal for a Pulitzer nomination, has a list of 10 things you probably don't know about Ashton Kutcher.

Though upon further examination of the Google Zeitgeist, if I want to drive traffic to the site, I should be talking about how late fantasy football enthusiast Gregory Hines' computer was stricken with the msblast virus while chatting online before his death on Dia Dos Pais about an article in the British Elle about a remote procedure call with California Lottery winner Arnold Schwarzenegger, who has never made a movie about a comet, but did do one about Mars.
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What Did I Miss?
I'm back and predictably after a week away buried, but I know there is a hunger out there for list-related musings, so I shall oblige with a week's worth of list's...

When Life Gives You Lemons, You Make Faygo Red Pop
The good folks at Physchopath Records try to spin the news that the Insane Clown Posse has been the worst rock act of all time by Blender magazine.

Code Brown (As In the Color of Shit Hitting the Fan)
A new report says we are due for another Sept. 11-type attack, ranking the U.S. as the fourth-most likely nation to be a terrorist target in the next year. The only countries to finish ahead of us were Columbia, Pakistan, and Israel, while North Koreans can rest easy knowing that while everything else is sucky, their country is the least likely to be attacked by terrorists.

J-E-T-S R-I-P-O-F-F
You too can pay $50 annually to be one of the 21,000+ loyal New York Jets fans on the team's season ticket waiting list.

Meanwhile Down the Turnpike
N.Y. Giants tight end Jeremy Shockey has in just one year impressively moved to the top of the list of athletes Philadelphia fans love to hate .

We Won't Have Father Guido To Kick Around
Don Novello and a 100-year-old woman were among the California gubernatorial candidates who didn't make the cut.

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This Is What You Are Looking For
Having driven/trained 4.5 hours to get into work today from a vacation house on the lake (alas, rented not owned) so I could meet a deadline
and facing the same commute (plus an hour for the time change) in a few hours, I understandably have little time for this. Yet, with so many of you fine folks stumbling upon this site in search of a list of California's gubernatorial candidates, well, I aim to serve.

Here's the latest list. And even if you think you know how ridiculous the election has gotten, in the words of Jeremy Irons, "You have no idea." The latest list includes, Father Guido Sarducci, one of Bill Walton's sons, and the founder of the Cigarette's Cheaper chain.
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Excuses, Excuses
A Monday deadline and then some much-needed vacation time means blogging will be light to nonexistent over the next 7-10 days, but before I take a respite, I leave you with this disturbing story. If I'm the kid's lawyer, I pin this on VH1 for fostering a list-inspired culture.

Thanks to Radosh.net for the link.
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Whiskey Ditka
No doubt you've read already that Da Coach is having trouble getting da stiffy and will be promoting a new Viagra alternative named LEVITRA (go ahead and take a minute now and add that to your spam filters, we'll wait). The interesting part about this news is that Ditka will also be the spokesperson for the NFL's new national men's health education campaign.

Here's what Da Coach, who despite once having Da Cardiac Arrest still enjoys his vices, had to say of the distinction: "It's an honor for me to be associated with such an important program that will generate awareness of critical men's health issues that affect guys like me. I've had experience with some health issues in my own life. I look forward to the challenge of using that experience to motivate men to take action and help take care of themselves. Taking care of your health should be a part of everyone's game plan."

And here's what Da Coach, in his role as restaurant owner, had to say earlier this year in response to a proposed smoking ban on smoking in eateries, bars, and nightclubs in Chicago: "My dad smoked four packs of Luckies from the time he was 12 until the time he was 60. He lived to 80. He died of hardening of the arteries. He didn't die from what smoking caused. He worked in the steel mill where every morning, you woke up and there was half an inch of soot on the cars.

"People who have survived in industrial areas of our country late into their 80s and 90s have inhaled more smoke than all the smoking in the world can give you.

"I find it hard to believe that people try to shove the secondhand smoke theory down your throat because I don't believe it. I don't believe it even hurts you. It might make your hair smell a little bit, but that's about it."

Ignoring for a moment the reams of literature and evidence that do indeed link the cause of Ditka's dad's death, arteriosclerosis--as well as hundreds of other diseases and illnesses--to smoking, someone needs to tell Da Coach that his father--like the 1985 team he led to the Super Bowl--was simply an anomaly.

Sorry it's off-topic, but I thought it was interesting.
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Maybe Viacom Should Change the Name From Spike to Keenan
Movie columnist David Poland has a scary look at the list of the top-grossing black-directed and female-directed films of all time. I won't spoil the surprises, but Spike better start writing a comedic farce and every aspiring female directors should make sure the word "wants" appears in their film's title.

Link via the soon to be Tivo-owning Throwing Things.
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Whatcha Talkin' Bout Governor Davis?
Gary Coleman joins Larry Flynt, Gallagher and others on the growing list of those running for governor of California.
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For That Price He Could Have Chartered a Lear Jet up to Nova Scotia
NBC president Dick Ebersol will take a break from trying to decide whether Ross will end up with Rachel a $50,000 lunch with Carly Simon. In addition to peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, Simon will reveal to Ebersol just who the singer was addressing in the song "You're So Vain."

Among the list of those rumored to be the man wearing the apricot scarf are James Taylor, Warren Beatty, Cat Stevens, Kris Kristofferson, and Mick Jagger. Simon has already told Ebersol that the person's name contains the letter E, which rules out Richard Nixon, Andy Griffith, and Barry Williams, among others. Ebersol also is not allowed to tell anyone the answer to the riddle.

Sadly, no one bid on a lunch with Ebersol where he promised to reveal why in the world he ever renewed "Just Shoot Me" for a sixth season.>

Bring a Poncho to the Campaign Rally
Gallagher joins the list of California gubernatorial candidates.

Update: Gallagher has listed his platform.
Thanks to Throwing Things for the link. >

Posted by: AlexG / 11:37 AM