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Monday, January 26, 2004

Sex? No Thanks, I've Got to Pick Up My Mom's Dry Cleaning
For years, bored teens faced with no better alternatives have turned to sexual intercourse to relieve the mind-numbing tedium that comes with not yet having reached your third decade. Thankfully, a team of social scientists in the employ of Guideposts for Teens, have, after countless hours of research, compiled a list that should virtually eliminate any getting it on before 20. Among the alternatives to s-e-x, they suggest in their remarkably frank and mature list entitled 100 Things to Do With Your Boyfriend or Girlfriend...Instead of It (upon first glance we were hoping to learn some unique masturbation tips, too, but no luck) are the following alternatives:

17. Take your grandparents out for dinner at a fast food restaurant.
41. Visit sick people in the hospital.
48. Head to Wal-Mart to try on shoes in styles you'd never buy.
65. Get dressed up really nice and go to McDonald's.
78. Run errands for your parents.
91. Play baseball without a bat or ball.
97. Make rock videos.

Link via Fimoculous.

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