A List a Day

Warm Impermanence
Look for some big ch-ch-changes here next week.
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What About Jan-Michael Vincent?
ESPN's Page 2 continues its look at the best all-around athletes, with the list of the 10 Greatest athletes. Jim Brown tops the list, followed by Jim Thorpe and then Dave Winfield.>

Scenes From a Car Wreck on the Way to an Italian Restaurant
Where once he crashed parties on Friday nights, today Billy Joel primarily spends his weekends crashing cars. Joel, who was on his way to pick up a pizza at the time of his latest accident, may want to pay the $2 delivery fee next time, lest he join Harry Chapin, James Dean, and others on the list of Celebrities Who Died in Auto Accidents.>

Time on His Hands
As a columnist for a major metropolitan newspaper and blogger, you wouldn't think Eric Zorn wouldn't have the time to list all 100 of Time Magazine's 100 Most Influential People. But thankfully he (or some intern) did, so I wouldn't have to (I was going to blog it earlier this week, but was pissed to see that Time had blocked all its current content to non-subscribers). >

Listful
Just got back from a screening of what is sure to be a contender for Best Picture next February, so I'm in a baseball mood. Plus it's been awhile since I alienated non-sports fans, but there have been some intriguing lists popping up lately from the wide, wide world of athletics. ESPN's Page 2 is trying to determine the World's Greatest Athlete (Rocco Baldelli?) and along those lines they've come up with a list of the 10 Greatest Athletic Feats. Bob Beamon's then-World Record long jump in the 1968 Mexico City Olympics tops the list and there are some very obscure and unusual, but well-reasoned picks.

Also at ESPN, Sean McAdam has made a list of the 10 Best Knockout Pitches from today's hurlers. It's good to see Timmy Wakefield get some props for being the game's remaining full-time knuckler. And speaking of Major League pitchers, did you know that there are only four African-American starting pitchers in baseball today? The only problem with reporting this alarming stat is that no historical reference is given. How many were there in 1990, 1980, etc.? Still, only Dontrelle Willis, Jerome Williams, Darren Oliver and CC Sabathia? Where have you gone Dave Stewart, Bob Gibson, Ferguson Jenkins, Ray Burris, Vida Blue, Dwight Gooden, Blue Moon Odom, and J.R. Richard?

On a better note for the African-American athlete, in this re-examination of the NBA's 50 Greatest Players, blacks hold 37 of the 50 spots, including 14 of the top 15. Still, old Lacy Banks of the Sun-Times makes a lot of dubious picks, including Tracy McGrady as the 24th best of all-time (all-time!) And no way KG, Kobe, and Duncan are all top 15, ahead of the Doctor, Zeke, and Zeke from Cabin Creek. And knocking the Ice Man off the list is just plain cold.

For those of you who haven't fled, Premiere Magazine got around to posting its list of the 100 Greatest Movie Characters of All Time, and Dr. Evil in front of George Bailey is just plain criminal.
Speaking of Canadians, after an extended absence from the land of blogs, Marc Weisblott is back and he's got some interesting things to say about Blender's list of the 50 Worst Songs.

I've been meaning to post these two links for awhile. The Guardian gets a lot of actors and directors to list their favourite films, and Alan Cumming (the man was Nightcrawler) gets the question right by picking "Guffman." And in other Christopher Guest news, "Spinal Tap" makes screenwriter Jeremy Drysdale's list of the 10 Best Films About Music.>

Marconi Plays the Mamba
Back on Sept. 23, 2003, we noted that Starship's "Knee Deep in Hoopla" deserved to be included on the list of Worst Group Efforts (scroll down to the right date) and now comes the news that Blender magazine has picked "We Built This City" as No. 1 on the list of the all-time 50 Most Awesomely Bad Songs. While several of the picks are of the shooting fish in the barrel variety ("I'm Too Sexy," "The Macarena," "Don't Worry Be Happy"), both the Beatles ("Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da"--Don't tell Corky) and Simon and Garfunkel ("The Sound of Silence") make the list.>

That's Maxxx With Three X's
While on the one hand it seems wrong to mock anything that has to do with HIV, on the other hand this list of Adult Actors on Quarantine in the wake of two porn industry stars testing positive for the virus last week is just plain surreal. >

Why Is the New Yorker Like a Teacher on Vacation?
It seems to take me about a week nowadays to get through a profile in the New Yorker, so I apologize if this has been blogged to death, but in reading the profile of Boondocks cartoonist Aaron McGruder, this passage stood out:

"Most of the time, though, they work on the pilot for Fox. It's been twenty years since 'Fat Albert,' the last black animated series on a major network, went off the air, so the prospect of 'The Boondocks' going to prime time is significant."

Apparently nobody at the New Yorker is a very big fan of Eddie Murphy's "The PJ's", which actually aired in prime time for various stints from 1999 to 2001 on Fox and the WB, unlike Fat Albert, which was a Saturday morning staple, except for a few prime time specials.>

Thank You, You've Been a Great Audience. Please Tip Your Waitresses
Ladies and Gentlemen, the Greatest Standup of All Time is...Richard Pryor. It's hard to argue with much of the top 20, though I would think Seinfeld deserved to be higher, while I never got the whole Roseanne thing. Chris Rock at No. 5 surprised me, especially ahead of Cosby and Murphy, but after watching his latest HBO special last night, I think he deserves it. Watching the show, it was great to see again how funny some of these guys were back in their standup prime. I'm talking about the classic Murphy, Steve Martin, Newhart, even Rodney when he was on. The show itself was an interesting format. Not a lot of filler, which was nice. I only caught the top 20, so I'm wondering if Richard Lewis and his cohorts were a little less reverent when it came to discussing the likes of Sinbad, Gallagher, and Louie (shudder) Anderson. >

And Then There We're 20
Comedy Central has posted another update to its list of the 100 Greatest Standups of All Time, and we are there with Nos. 21 to 40. Phyllis Diller becomes the seventh woman on the list, landing at No. 35 and surprisingly Bob Hope, the Don Sutton of Standup, finishes at No. 25. And although Jay may beat Dave in the ratings, Dave presumedly will beat Jay on the list, as Leno is ranked No. 27.

Who will be No. 1? Carson? Cosby? Seinfeld? Bill? Kwame? Tune in tonight for the answer, or just check back here.>

Take My List, Please
Since record numbers of y'all keep landing here after Googling "Comedy Central list of the 100 Greatest Standups and since between a killer deadline and filing my form 4686 (so lame, I just loaded the Turbo Tax software I bought in February on my computer today), I've got little time for list-finding, I thought an update on Nos. 41 to 60 might sate you. Some of the big names are starting to come in. It seems like they are actually taking this list seriously, too, mixing the old with the new, and not just including people because they had clips or could get an interview. My question of the day, who will be the highest ranking woman? The guess here is Ellen. Also who was the funniest person you ever saw live. For me, it was Gary Shandling. >

Of Bobcats and Buttons
Comedy Central has listed Nos. 61-80 from their list of the 100 Greatest Standups of all Time, and a restless nation can sleep easy tonight knowing that Sinbad, perhaps next to Condi Rice, the greatest alum of my wife's alma mater, in No. 78. Carson, Cosby, Hope, Seinfeld, Emo? Who will be No. 1? This update, in cidentally, is for the benefit of the dozens of you who have come to the site for the first time via Google searching for more info on Comedy Central's list.>

They're Biggest Rivals Are the Adams Gags
While the Jefferson Muzzles may sound like the name of a high school basketball team, they are actually an annual award given to those individuals and institutions that aren't down with the First Amendment of the Constitution. The list of this year's Muzzle winners includes Baseball Hall of Fame President Dale Petroskey, CBS, and a host of other government agencies big (Defense Department, Secret Service) and small (The Parks and Recreation Division of Broward County). >

Reading Is Fundamental
A bunch of folks, including Roger Ebert, Robert Birnbaum, and Jessa Crispin, rif on their Ten Favorite Novels over at Professor Barnhardt's Journal today. Glad to see my favorite book make Tod Goldberg's list (go ahead and guess which one) and Vanishing Point by David Markson, which I just picked up at the library this morning, make Adam Finley's list. >

Funny 'Cause They're True
Expect to see a lot of brick walls this week as Comedy Central joins the list-making crowd with five hours of The 100 Greatest Standups of All Time. I couldn't find the list published anywhere, but I have it from a reliable source that a certain melon-smashing yuckster should be very pleased with the results.>

Thank God for VH1!
What better to distract us from the news of the world than another list from the cable channel that mine as well have invented numerical ordering, Video Hits One. While The 100 Most Outrageous Celebrity Moments, seems a better fit for E!, you can't help but be amused by such an exercise. Besides, it's hard to build up too much outrage about a list where 80% of the outrageous moments seem to have taken place in the last six months--Brittany's quickie Vegas nuptials No. 1?--we have a feeling this was driven more by good video and snark and wasn't meant to be much of a historical record. Still, no Fatty Arbuckle?>

Can't Seem to Get My Mind off of You
In contrast to Weird "The Hardest Working Man in Showbiz" Al (see post below), no one, and I mean no one, enjoys a good vacation like our president. While we were being reminded last week by Condi Rice's testimony that the president spent the month of August 2001 on his ranch reading old Archie comics and not his PDB, Bush was not in the White House monitoring the latest trouble in Iraq but was back at the ranch in Crawford were he "spent the morning watching national security adviser Condoleezza Rice's televised testimony to the commission investigating the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks, then toured his ranch with Wayne LaPierre Jr., chief executive of the National Rifle Association, and other leaders of hunting groups and gave an interview to Ladies' Home Journal," according to The Washington Post.

So just how many vacations has W taken? The Post goes on to report that: "This is Bush's 33rd visit to his ranch since becoming president. He has spent all or part of 233 days on his Texas ranch since taking office, according to a tally by CBS News. Adding his 78 visits to Camp David and his five visits to Kennebunkport, Maine, Bush has spent all or part of 500 days in office at one of his three retreats, or more than 40 percent of his presidency."

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The Show Must Go On
On the one hand, you have to admire a man who shortly after learning of the death of his parents, decides to still go on stage and delight his legions of fans in Mankato, Minn., fans with "Eat It," "Another One Rides the Bus," and "I Lost on Jeopardy." On the other hand, there's something slightly psychotic about a man who can go on stage and perform "Like a Surgeon," "Hey Ricky," and "Amish Paradise," with all the antic zeal such numbers call for after receiving such news. >

I Wish That I Had Nick's Girl
Because then I would be betrothed to the hottie at the top of this year's Maxim Hot 100 List. OK, I'm as bored with here as the rest of you, but I have a sworn duty to mention this stuff. Incidentally, if you just thought the Maxim list was something of a wanker's dream team, think again. "The Hot 100 is a barometer of the hottest women in film, TV, music, sports and fashion. The criteria: beautiful women with careers that are on fire," which helps explain why tennis great Anna Kournikova, coming on the heels of her third Wimbledon title, ranked No. 4. >

The Bush Administration Was Prepared for an Attack by Werewolves, Though
According to this New York Times story about Condi's appearance in front of the 9/11 commission this morning: "Ms. Rice asserted that there was 'no silver bullet,' or unmistakable clue, to the impending Sept. 11 attacks." She also went on to state that there was no "garlic necklace," "chunk of Kryptonite," or "bucket of water," which would have led the administration to believe the nation faced an imminent threat. >

Lists Aplenty
Got some good ones today...

Slant Magazine presents the 100 Greatest Music Videos, and aside from the listing the entire Madonna catalog save, say "Papa, Don't Preach" and "Into the Groove," it's a thoughtful list, omitting some of the standards like "Sabotage" and "Losing My Religion," in favor of long overlooked classics like "Total Eclipse of the Heart" and "Voices Carry." Madonna, not surprisingly hits the top spot with "Express Yourself."
Thanks to Adam for the head's up.

CHUD's got another 100 for you to sort through, especially if your Netflix queue is too short, having come up with 100 Movies That Deserve More Love. While there are some we hated the first time (Nos. 26, 41, and 88), there are many more that we had forgotten about (Nos. 2, 54, and 90) that we had always meant to see and some (Nos. 21, 66, 68, 92 and 98) that we plain adore.

In honor of the Firefly DVD release and the cancellation of Wonderfalls, Daniel Radosh has trotted out a list of the Top 10 Best Sci-Fi TV Shows he did for Playboy back in 1999, along with some new comments. There's also a list of the worst shows he did, which is immediately discredited for the inclusion of "Small Wonder," perhaps our favorite TV show of all time. Incidentally, my sister-in-law's ex-boyfriend was once set up on a blind date with the actress that played the little robotic girl, Vicki.

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I Need Love, Not Games
Condi (no e), Condi, Condi...20 things you might not know about Condi Rice, to which we'd add: 21. She's a lying tool. >

Yankee Hotel Detox
Wilco's Jeff Tweedy (reg. req.) joins the long list of musicians who have spent a little time in rehab.>

What About Bob?
Monday at 1:00 EST, tear yourself away from the Cubs-Reds opener for the chance to lash out at Jay Kernis, the guy at NPR who demoted Morning Edition's Bob Edwards, in a live chat. >

TMFTML's New World Headquarters?
Rumors are swirling that le sphere de blog's favorite anonymous alcoholic is packing up his U-Haul and heading to San Antonio.>

A Day Late and a List Short
We fell for about a dozen April Fool's Jokes yesterday, before looking at a calendar, so despite it being April 2, for the gullible amongst us, we thought this list of the Top 100 April Fool's Day Hoaxes Of All Time might still come in handy.

On an unrelated, we have a babysitter tomorrow night and are looking for a good movie. Already saw "Eternal Sunshine..." (awesome, incidentally, just awesome), but are looking for other suggestions. Particularly if anyone has seen "Ladykillers" or "Spartan." >

The Levee Is Dry
I had this pseudo-intellectual RA at South Quad my freshman year at U of M, whose dorm room featured this big, ridiculous poster with the lyrics to "American Pie" printed in some fancy font as if Don McLean was some poet for the ages. I can only imagine how many times after us frosh kiddies had gone out to get blitzed on $2 pitchers at Rick's, she and some select RAs would fire up a doobie and stare at the poster (it was huge, really more of a scroll than a poster, it may even have been on parchment paper with charred edges) discussing just exactly what McLean meant when he wrote "the marching band refused to yield."

If you're wondering what the hell this has to do with a list, well, apparently the ol' levee of talent is drying up over at the Songwriters Hall of Fame, because McLean is among this year's list of nominees. At least the powers that be are recognizing the genius behind such lines as "You can rely on the old man's money" and "Watch out boy she'll chew you up.">

Hate and Loathing of New Yorkers
From easy marks like the Donald to worthy inductees like Chuck Klosterman, the New York Press has compiled a list of the 50 Most Loathsome New Yorkers. Most of the marks are on the money, but we have to take exception with the inclusion of David Cross, Eric Alterman, and Choire, plus given his perfromance yesterday and the fact that he only cost us $27 in our fantasy draft, we don't want to do anything to piss off Kevin Brown.

Link courtesy of Low Culture.>